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MS’s Handwritten Letters

 Typed Copy


Letter #5


Asking Questions; Requesting to Fast

Original Document DATE:

March 1987

[Note: “bold-faced type”, “italics”, “underline” and/or “all caps” have been added to certain quotes for emphasis. All added statements/notations are contained in brackets “[ ]”.]

                                                                                          Friday Night

Dear Generals,

          I understand you have an awesome job of overseeing a world wide [sic] army. I know too that I am nothing to receive any of your attention, that I am hands off, devorced [sic] as your daughter (I am so sorry). But please may I say a little and ask a question or two. [sic]

          For 14 weeks now I have not verbally communicated with anyone (except Barren) but a little small talk here + there. This has not been easy. Yet for several weeks now I have felt a peace within that has surpased [sic] any human comfort. Often I have laid awake nights with intervals of crying and exquisite joy at feeling the Lords [sic] pressense [sic]. I have felt dead to soulish emotions, outward circumstances effecting [sic] me little. In pain + sorrow I have experienced comfort + joy. Yet today I feel discouraged + desperate. Perhaps its [sic] just one more attack to fight off. God is doing a wonderful work in my heart—at times I weep in sincere gratitude. Surely its [sic] not for nought. I have a genuine love + zeal for the Lord + a sincere love for the sisters and brothers—but I’m behind bars.

          Day after day I receive one scornful look after another. I’ve turned my cheek again and again and gone extra miles. Yet today I feel like a cowing [sic] dog looking for a corner to hide in to avoid being hurt. Today I was in my room most of the day reading + listening to Mike + Iantha + the children in the other rooms. It’s a heart ache [sic] just walking thru the kitchen out to use the bathroom. There’s always silence and turned backs or straight faces when I enter a room. So then I stayed outside to sweep for awhile [sic] + as I was peeking thru the sanctuary door to see if the new Battlecry [sic] was out yet I was approached with suspision [sic] and mistrust because I was looking thru the window. Then I went to the clothing room to hide + heard Capt. Schmierer upstairs talking so I returned to my lonely bedroom. Another common day when theres [sic] no work to do. Usually I’m not so bothered. Perhaps I sunk back into my emotions. Anyway—my life is not my own. But what’s God going to do with it? The fact of devorcement [sic] from my husband stupifies [sic] me. Does it mean I’ll never be accepted back into His army? A devorced [sic] woman? Am I hoping against hope? Will I always be only an observer hearing + viewing those I love working for Him I love? Will I ever enter in again? Is God telling you anything you can tell me? I suppose writing you this letter is indicative of self-centeredness + lack of trust + faith (The devorse [sic] throws me off the most). But I feel so locked up—I can’t give, I can’t serve, I can’t speak. It appears that I’m just an unwanted extra weight around here. Are you waiting for me to leave? The peace I’ve been feeling—am I deceived? With all my being I want the Army. I want to lay my life upon the alter [sic] in service to Him. Is there something I’m not doing? Something I’m doing I shouldn’t be? Am I always to be a woman set aside to be dispised [sic]? Would it be better if I left? Am I forsaken forever?

          Anyway—please you needn’t fix me any lunches next week. I haven’t been working. I shouldn’t eat. A lot of food when you’re idle makes you dull, lazy + carnal. Too much anymore I make food my pleasure + comfort anyway. It’s the bread of life Im [sic] hungry for. If for any reason I shouldn’t fast please let me know.


General Jim’s Response to

MS’s Letter #5


[Note: “bold-faced type”, “italics”, “underline” and “all caps” have been added to certain quotes for emphasis.]


MS (Letter #5): For 14 weeks now I have not verbally communicated with anyone except Barren [AKA Rachel Johnson]...”

          This was not true at all. In fact, MS worked in the Art Shop for a while and there you HAD TO talk to someone in order to work. Besides that, she talked to both me and my wife personally, plus our kids and others in camp. Maybe in her mind she thought she didn’t talk to anyone while she generally kept to herself (we never forced her away from our group). We did excommunicate her but we were very lenient. After all, she WANTED TO STAY in camp.

          MS (Letter #5): “...but I’m behind bars...” The “bars” were HER OWN MENTAL bars, not any physical ones. MS herself has never ever mentioned being “behind bars” to the media, nor did she mention it in her Testimony Under Oath (TUO).

          Check out the following:

          MS (Letter #5): “Today I was in MY ROOM most of the day reading + listening to Mike + Iantha + the children in the other rooms.”

          Don’t this beat all? For years she has implied that she spent 6 months either ALL ALONE or 6 months with just another woman “locked” in that dirty ol’ dark shed in the back yard. Well, which is the real story, MS? You can’t have it both ways (or many different/conflicting ways!).

          I’ve already proved that MS in fact did live with Steven, her son, and lived in five different locations in camp. Remember her saying on the Dr. Phil TV Show that she was never allowed to see or talk to her children? She implies this under oath too but also, under oath, she states clearly that she lived with her son and lived around other Corps members.

          Listen to this:

          MS (Letter #5): “It’s a heart ache [sic] just walking thru the kitchen out to use the bathroom.”

          Bathroom? Isn’t this where people take baths and go to the toilet? But according to MS on the Dr. Phil Show, “...There was a shed in the back yard. I was ORDERED to move into that shed...NO BATHROOM, SHOWER FOR SIX MONTHS.” She made similar statements to this in her TUO.

          MS (TUO): “Although we were allowed to use the toilet in the Chop Shop, it was often locked...”

          Spare me, MS! Why lock access to a toilet when you were not the only ones using it? The point is, she just LIED about not having a toilet to use. She used the bathrooms in all our houses in camp. GET SERIOUS!! MS had access to the toilet at the Art Shop also.

          In the Sacramento Bee newspaper (1988), MS was reported as saying, “...For 6 months, she [MS] said, she was NOT ALLOWED TO BATHE or have ANY hot water. Frequently she DID NOT HAVE ACCESS TO A BATHROOM.

          Listen to this:

          MS (TUO): After about two weeks Lila [Gen. Deborah] stormed into OUR ROOM [i.e., her and Steven’s] ... and showed me a basket of soaps and cleaners which she said Steven had dumped out in the sanctuary bathroom.”

          But, but ... what about being “locked up”, dear MS? And what about not talking to anyone (except Rachel), especially your kids? And what about not being around a bathroom/toilet for 6 months? And what about your reaction to what Lila was telling you—“...Steven is with me ALL DAY LONG...”? This was written by you, MS, UNDER OATH! Sure doesn’t match up with your statements on the Phil Show! You would have the world believe we kept you from talking to your kids, seeing your kids or even hearing any of your kids for 6 months ... yet here is Steven with you, as you testified under penalty of perjury, “ALL DAY LONG”!!

          MS used the sanctuary bathroom plus all the bathrooms in camp.

          MS also said (TUO), “When he had to use the bathroom, I would walk him out to the Chop Shop. I NEVER LET HIM OUT OF MY SIGHT.

          Now isn’t this something?!

          MS (TUO): “A few days later I was told by Lila that Steven had vandalized the bathroom upstairs...”

          Oh yes, Steven was a real handful. MS claims she never let him out of her sight, but the truth was he was all over the camp getting into things. Of course MS claimed that Lila said that “demons were making him do it.” Guess that is a good enough answer.

          MS (TUO): “I was approached by General Lila a few days later when I was cleaning up the mess hall.”

          But, but ... wasn’t MS supposed to be “virtually locked up” for 10 or was it 24 weeks? And the mess hall, oh, this is where the Corps ate, including MS and Steven!

          MS (Letter #5): “Are you waiting for me TO LEAVE?”

          LEAVE? You mean to tell me that MS COULD HAVE LEFT any time? Yep! You mean that she was FREE TO COME AND GO at will? Yep! You mean to tell me that she was NOT locked up in that dirty ol’ dark shed where she claims to have had no toilet, couldn’t take a bath, and ate only stale peanut butter sandwiches? You’re telling me she was NOT imprisoned? Yep!

          MS (Letter #5): “Anyway—PLEASE you needn’t fix me any lunches next week. I haven’t been working. I SHOULDN’T EAT. A lot of food when you’re idle makes you dull, lazy + carnal. Too much anymore I MAKE FOOD MY PLEASURE + COMFORT anyway.”


          Do I dare respond to this food issue? Hasn’t MS implied that she was starved by us? Didn’t she claim that all she ate and imply that all she was allowed to eat was peanut butter sandwiches?

          In Letter #5, was MS talking about food, that is, peanut butter sandwiches, or food she GORGED ON in the mess hall? She personally told both of us Generals that she was getting too fat and wanted us to remove her from mess-hall duty. To hear her tell it to the world, she only ate one meal a day for 6 months consisting of 6 stale peanut butter sandwiches, and, during this time, as we have noted, she implies in various places to have been restricted from using any bathroom at all and had access to no hot water (and sometimes she makes it sound like no access to ANY water).

          MS (TUO): “[a certain Corps member] would ... yell, ‘Time to go to work!!!”

          WORK? I thought you were “idle” with nothing to do? Sometimes MS has made it sound like she just stayed crouched in a shed for 6 months!

          MS (TUO): “I had only one white sack dress which I was REQUIRED to wear at ALL TIMES. We had no washer or dryer. We washed our clothes in the outside faucet...”

          “Outside faucet”? You mean you could at least WASH UP or DRINK ... OUTSIDE? Yep! But, but ... what about your being LOCKED UPfor 10 or 24 weeks?

          On page 9 of her TUO, she writes in great detail about being “treated like criminals”. She gives gruesome details of all the job assignments she was “FORCED” to do. Page 10 is full of job assignments.

          MS (TUO): “We spent up to six hours a day sawing wood...”

          True, MS and Jacque did work at times because they asked to work, but they had many days of idleness too. Here we find MS sawing wood. For what? Could it have been wood for burning in the Chop Shop wood stove? Yep! We had a wood stove in there. Could it have been for the “shed” (two-story heated clubhouse)? Yep! It was heated by wood too. This bull of her having no heat was a lie.

          She states that a “regular job order was hand-sawing and splitting wood.” Some of that wood came from our mountain location outside Sacramento. We would bring a truckload home to keep the wood stoves going. Remember, MS chose to remain in camp, starting in January, and she asked for work, even longed for work as stated in her letters.

          Note this:

          MS (TUO): “...tore down the shed, and afterward we were then ORDERED to pull out the nails from all the 2x4's and haul the plywood away. The scrap wood we were ORDERED to cut up for firewood.”

          There you have it—FIREWOOD for heating those two places MS lived!

          On page 18 of MS’s TUO she really puts us thru it in talking about carrying heavy extension ladders and working over a chain-link fence. She then tells that when climbing up that ol’ heavy ladder she slipped “and a man from the construction site next door came running over to me making sure I was all right. This more than anything made me cry—this was the first person in 6 months to show any concern for me (other than my folks on my short 2 day stay with them).” Poor, poor MS—you worked so hard! The truth is, folks, I personally kept all Ft. Freedom in good shape. I did most of the landscaping and kept up the grounds and buildings. Of course, Capt. Steve S. was the main construction man in camp—he worked really hard.

          Which was it, MS, did you not work or did you overwork? Were you starved or were you getting fat? Were you held captive or were you free to leave anytime? We’re all waiting for a clear answer.

          On page 22, MS says: “How can I put into words the HORROR of what I experienced? How can I put into words the excruciating heart pain of being rejected ... how can I describe the agony of being ORDERED by my husband himself [Oops! don’t you mean the ol’ mean Generals?] to move into a dirty, mildewed, dark, wet, drafty and COLD shed?”—

          Forgive me, folks, I’ve got to wipe the tears from my eyes ... okay, I’ll now continue.—

          “How can I adequately describe the MENTAL TORTURE of what was TO MY MIND SOLITARY CONFINEMENT for 6 months?”

          Then MS follows up with this: “Often I wrestled with thoughts of LEAVING.” LEAVING, MS? How was that possible when you were locked up in solitary confinement? Poor, poor MS!

          Following up on the above sob story, MS says, “...It was literally like a nightmare...” and “...I used to spend hours peeking through a crack in the door of the shed watching my children in the yard. I felt like I WAS IN PRISON.”

          Then MS says this: “My young son was called ‘Demon’ in his and MY PRESENCE.” Now wait a minute. So, you were around other people?


          So, you felt like you were in solitary confinement while you were around other people, and you had to peek through the “shed” door for hours watching your children, whom you couldn’t see, and you were peeking through that “shed” door while you were working all those hard jobs, and, oh, you couldn’t see your kids or talk to them for six months while you spent ALL DAY LONG and more with your son and wouldn’t let him out of your sight. I get it!?


          Now folks, hang on to your souls, listen to this: “At one point I had thought of suicide. Lila even encouraged me along these lines. She said I could commit suicide and get it over with...”

          Why hasn’t MS made this incredible statement to the media? I’ve never read it in any paper or heard it said over the radio or on TV, but she says this under oath! I can feel her criminal attorney in the background.

          Sorry for getting off track from the “please you needn’t fix me any lunches next week” thing.


Stay tuned—more to come.


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