[Note: “bold-faced type”, “italics”, “underline” and/or “all caps” have been added to certain quotes for emphasis. All added statements/notations are contained in brackets “[ ]”.]

Forsaken

3-24-87

Judgment

    I feel very much oppressed in my mind and have had a difficult time getting going on this report.

    I actually know little about God’s Judgement other than what I’ve been subjectively experiencing and also what I’ve learned from the Scriptures.

    A judgement from God is a sentense [sic] against those who have offended Him—either nationally or individually. Strongs [sic] concordance defines judgement as a verdict pronounced judicially, devine [sic] law, penalty, punishment, charge, infliction. Whereas chastizement [sic] is a correction, a reproof and a warning, judgement is the result of chastizement [sic] not being heeded to, or direct disobedience knowingly or unknowing [sic]. Thats [sic] why its [sic] so very important to walk circumspectfully in fear of the Lord, taking heed lest you think you stand you fall. It’s indeed a frightening thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

    Isiah [sic] 4:4 reads “When the Lord shall have washed away the filth of the daughters of Zion, and shall have purged the blood of Jerusalem from the midst thereof by the spirit of Judgement, and by the spirit of burning.” And so God’s judgements are for the purposes of purging—either by eliminating altogether by death or by imprisoning or by taking away into captivity. Gods [sic] judgements are also for the purpose of purging the hearts. His judgements vary according to the degree of crime committed and also according to the offenders heart and to God’s end purpose (“...according to their doings and to their way, I judged them.” Ezk 36:19) [sic] In Isiah [sic] 26:9-10 we read “when thy judgements are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness. Let favor be shewed to the wicked, yet will he not learn righteousness.” In other words, God judges to show men and to turn them from their wicked ways. Throughout the old testiment [sic] when Gods [sic] people rebelled continuously He lead [sic] them into captivity. His purpose was to thru [sic] affliction cause them to cry out to Him, to seek Him with all their hearts, minds + souls, to humble them and cause them to turn. This, I believe, is Gods [sic] purpose of judgement is [sic] to cause men to fall on their knees acknowledging Him. In Isiah [sic] 57:15,16 we read “I dwell in the Holy place, with him also that is of a contrite + humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, to revive the heart of the contrite ones. For I will not contend forever, neither will I always be wrath...” Again in Lamantations [sic] 3:31 we read “For the Lord will not cast off forever. But though He cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of His mercies,” and in verse 40, “Let us search and try our hearts, and turn again to the Lord,” and up in verse 25, “the Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.” In Jer. 29:13-14 the Lord says “and ye shall seek me and find me when ye shall search for me with all your heart, and I will be found of you saith the Lord, and I will turn away your captivity.”

    God knows the hearts; He knows who will turn, who won’t; He knows what type of infliction is needed to bring results. When I received my judgement on the 10th of Jan the Lord was very wrath with me, however He gave me hope that upon a broken repentance [sic] He would again open His arms to me. To this Hope I cleave. I have since that day undergone much and feel totally undone. The pain, the grief, the sorrow is at times unbearable. I have been taken away captive by the Lord. Everything precious to me is gone—a position in His army, my spiritual family, my husband who now abhors me and is devorcing [sic] me, the beloved children of my womb, my job—all rights and priveledges [sic]—but most cutting is the seperation [sic] from my God. I often wish myself dead—yet in my state I dare not to die. Some days, esp. during continual confinement oppression is so great I feel like I’m drugged on codiene [sic].

    Upon coming under God’s judgement, I at first tried to overcome out of my own efforts. Both Barren and I tried fighting off the devil and praying long hours for God’s deliverence [sic]. We did everything we knew how. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I finally just surrendered to God and told Him that I was His however He wanted me. I came to the realization that nothing “I” can do can deliver me from His hand—nothing out of my own strength will cause this judgement to pass. All I can do is humble myself, be patient and resign myself to God...and wait. I have no clear hope. All I can do is surrender to His dealings and seek all that I can of Him in them. I feel that there is a joy to be discovered tho I have not yet found it. I feel a continual tearing apart on the inside. I’ve come to the conclusion that there is nothing I can do to even come to that place of brokenness that He is after in me, but once again to humble myself and submit to Him and let Him do the breaking. I feel broken in peices [sic], totally undone, yet God knows what more it will take. He knows the hearts. I can’t judge my own heart as it is evil. Only Gods [sic] light can judge, can expose.

    Tho I do feel undone and am most miserable most the time, yet I do praise God for the chance He is giving me, that He’s not done with me, and that He is openning [sic] my eyes up to much and making me real. As Job says in 42:5 “I have heard thee by the hearing of the ear: but now I know thee and I abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes.” God has been good to keep me. Each time I’ve reached a point of dispair [sic] He has been there to encourage me—thru scripture, thru dreams.... Recently I dreamed that I was beseaching [sic] Gen. Jim for Help and he told me to read Ps 43 which is a psalms [sic] of David praying to be restored to the temple and declaring His [sic] hope in God.

    I Cor 11:31-32 reads “For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world.” I thank God that I’m given a chance to get right before Judgement Day. I am reduced to nothing. My hope is that God will restore me with a right spirit and a clean heart that I can truely [sic] serve Him—not out of my “self” as I have done in the past, but Him in me. I thank him [sic] that He is reducing me to nothing, for nothing of ourselves can inter [sic] into His presense [sic] on that final day.

    Please, if there is work that we can do. Inactivity day after day is so hard to endure. I’m so sorry that we’re such a weight on you—even to find things for us to do.

General Jim’s Response to

MS’s Letter #7

[Note: “bold-faced type”, “italics”, “underline” and “all caps” have been added to certain quotes for emphasis.]

HERE WE HAVE a study that MS did on judgment. I don’t have too much to comment on, for I’ve covered many of the points of contrast in her other letters. Other than her bad spelling, her letter to us reflects her soul searching.

          MS’s Testimony Under Oath (TUO) is quite different as I have been pointing out to all my readers. Her lawsuit would be absolutely impossible to pass off on the public without her sine qua non (the essential, crucial, or indispensable ingredient), that is, her accusation of us “punishing” her!

          Her story, rather, her SLANDEROUS LIE, reflects her bitterness, hatred, and unforgiveness.

          Please note her very last paragraph to us—that of wanting us to find work for her. I’ve already covered this in another response (i.e., the issue of her work, or lack of it), but her words here are still worth taking note of.