[Note: “bold-faced type”, “italics”, “underline” and/or “all caps” have been added to certain quotes for emphasis. All added statements/notations are contained in brackets “[ ]”.

Dear Generals,

    Although under extreme chastisement, the Lord is keeping me. Each time I’ve come to a point of dispair [sic], His Spirit ministers hope to me. After weeks of wrestling with thoughts of giving up, God reveled [sic] to me the beginning of last week my biggest enemy—my own self will. He showed me how my own willfulness has been opposed to His will + by allowing it to rule I hindered the moving of His spirit [sic] in the body, esp. amongst the women. This peirced [sic] me with grief and fear and I cried out to Him to deliver me + to give me His will. The following day I had the biggest battle yet, but I came thru victorious + since that time I’ve felt a peace inside. I am surrendered to drink this cup knowing that in so doing I will die but Christ in me will be resurrected. This is the desire of my heart.

    As concerning the termination of my marriage to Capt. [S.] I also am surrendered. He + the children I put on the alter [sic] before getting the devorse [sic] papers. I’ll not fight against God’s judgement. I’ve failed + I accept the punishment. Paul said to count all lose [sic] as gain. Capt. [S.] no longer has to carry my weight. The children’s faces reflect the joy of the Lord. In the end I can even see Gods [sic] mercy on me. Capt. [S.’s] a strong personality and I in my weakness have always leaned upon Him to hold me up. But god [sic] wants me to carry my own weight + lean upon Him for my strength.

    I’ve had my eyes open to so much. I’ve been such a carnal Christian. I could write several pages on what I’m experiencing + learning but I won’t take your time.

    I’m so sorry for the grief I’ve caused you both, that I didn’t before now take heed + practice those things which you’ve taught me. It’s those things you’ve taught me that are keeping me alive now. The Lord has given me hope that this will all be turned around for His glory’s sake, not for mine. I don’t dispise [sic] His dealings. He’s making me real, trying me by fire. I am a prisoner, captive because of my offences. This is His mercy. My eyes are on the vision. By all outward appearances my life in God looks hopeless. But by faith I believe that God will deliver me.

    I appreciate you so much,

                     Forsaken, but not forever

General Jim’s Response to

MS’s Letter #3